Power of Sorry in Building a Healthy Relationship
There are lots of good reasons that a wife or husband may have to say sorry to his or her partner. Maybe they just forgot an important anniversary, such as a birthday or an anniversary, or they’ve said something hurtful during an argument.
Whatever mistake you’ve made, understanding how to apologize with sincerity is the very first step to repairing your relationship and bringing things back on track again.
Saying sorry, and admitting that you were wrong is a pivotal part in breaking the ice, communicating well, restoring trust, and forgiving each other.
When you say sorry, don’t hold it in any way that you’re sparing yourself from doing anything, because you will STILL be letting things slip away again.
The power to change that is in your hands alone
Saying that you’re sorry is not an excuse to avoid or minimize the impact of your behavior, so don’t do that. For one, it’s entirely possible that what you did would have been better if you hadn’t done it in the first place, and so saying that you’re sorry is only going to place you in a position of weakness that you really don’t want.
Taking responsibility for your actions is the very first step toward repairing a relationship, and starting over. Saying sorry is a sign of maturity, honesty, and maturity, and these are the very things that you should want to convey to your partner.
So how can you make sure that you’re actually apologetic without coming across as being defensive, manipulative, insincere, or in denial? The best way to approach an apology is to be honest, open, and up front about your mistakes and your apology.
That means having an honest conversation with your partner about the situation, and allowing them to know everything that you’re embarrassed about, but also letting them know what you’re doing to correct it and how.
While saying sorry is an essential part of repairing a relationship, minimizing it or hiding it will actually make matters worse, so take responsibility for your hurtful things instead of trying to bury them.
It’s okay to feel bad after being hurt
It’s not okay to make things right by hiding those feelings inside of yourself. Digressing and covering up your feelings is a huge mistake, and shows a lack of integrity and respect for yourself.
It will also make things right less effectively because hiding from the truth only makes things worse. Instead of covering up your hurt feelings, be open and talk about them to a trusted friend, counselor, or loved one.
Even though that person may be someone that you’ve had for years, admitting to him or her your problems is going to help you get your life back together.
Along with owning up to your hurts and owning up to your apology, it’s important to remember that the most effective apology is not an apology in general, but an apology to a specific individual.
Making general statements about your feelings and what you’re going through will not be effective because they don’t recognize the specific person you hurt.
The best apology is an apology to your intended target. You apologize to your partner or spouse and explain why you did what you did and why you regret it. Simply saying sorry to a friend or family member will not be sufficient and you need to do it to a person that matters in your life.
The mistake many people make in apologizing is making a generic statement
This doesn’t actually identify who you are to that person and therefore opens you up to criticism and doubt. A more effective apology involves a personalized message that identifies your emotions, explaining why you acted and why you regret your action.
Your apology will also set the stage for future dialogues with that same person, letting him or her know what you are feeling and how you hope to approach the future.
An essential part of forgiveness is opening up to the person who offended you in the first place, which is why it’s important to have some empathy when making an apology.
Apologizing can be difficult to do, but if you feel like you’ve done something wrong and want to apologize, it can be very beneficial. If you’re having trouble apologizing and you don’t know what to say, consulting a therapist would be a great idea before you say sorry.
There are several things that people who are embarrassed or ashamed to say sorry even though they’ve done something wrong to say or do. If you have a problem communicating about your own issues, consulting a professional is a good idea.
The most important part of apologetic activities is taking responsibility for your actions. If you take responsibility for your actions, you can begin to work on feelings of regret, shame, embarrassment and even fear.
The more you take responsibility for your own feelings, the more likely you’ll be able to move forward with repairing the relationship. The bottom line is that if you’re trying to save a relationship, you have to have feelings, even if those feelings are negative!
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