Many couples end up in marriage counseling when their relationship is struggling. But what if the problem was something that began to grow and got worse before it ever got better? This can be a problem as well.
It’s often the case that once a couple begins to see their relationship changing, they begin to worry about having problems of their own. This starts to pull them apart and make them think of divorce. This may sound like an exaggeration, but it’s not.
Some marriages have troubles at some point. Whether they are the result of growing apart or each spouse trying to cope with an emotional depression that was present before the problem got worse is really a separate issue.
The important thing is that they were able to reach a point where they could no longer sustain the level of emotion that they were experiencing. Unfortunately, that can happen for many couples. They begin to get depressed because of something that started to occur seemingly out of nowhere.
Perhaps the husband begins to show signs of being less interested in the relationship than he previously was, or perhaps the wife starts to feel neglected or overwhelmed by life’s demands. These issues can lead to depression.
Once an initial couple of problems arise, there’s usually a period of time during which it may seem as though nothing can be done to salvage things
At this point, the spouse who is having difficulties may also have problems of her own. She may start to believe that she needs to take care of everything on her own and that it’s pointless to try to get the other person to change.
It’s important to remember that these types of situations are rarely permanent. Although the problem may initially appear to be irreparable, it’s important not to lose hope. As time goes by, there will likely be times when the two people can work through the problems and make progress. Eventually, if both parties continue to nurture the relationship, then there’s a great chance that it’ll last.
Emotional depression can be difficult to detect
Most people assume that if they’re having problems, then their spouse must be suffering as well. But this isn’t necessarily true. Sometimes a person can show signs of depression but not actually be depressed all of the time.
This can also be a difficult issue to deal with since it may cause a person to lose interest in everything around them. If your spouse is exhibiting any of these signs of distress, then you should consider seeking help for your relationship.
There are many different things that you can do to help strengthen your relationship. One thing that may prove helpful is seeing a therapist. The therapist can help your spouse realize what is causing the problem so that he or she may identify how it can be changed.
You may also be able to find activities that you can participate in together that can help you both get past your problems. It can be difficult to see a therapist and to open up about a personal problem. This may mean that you have to endure a low level of intimacy.
This is alright if you both don’t want to become more physically or emotionally distant from each other. The two of you should remain, friends, while working through your problem together. You may find that just talking with each other is the best way to begin working through the issue. Regardless of what you decide to do, you should work on repairing the problem and making your marriage work.
Causes of Emotional Depression in Marriages
There are many causes for emotional affairs but they are all centered around one central issue, lack of communication between the partners. This is why these affairs are rarely successful and rarely last very long.
The constant fighting and disagreements that take place in a marriage cause a lot of communication problems that leads to a situation where one or both partners have lost the ability to trust the other. This is not an isolated incident; this happens everyday.
As a matter of fact, studies show that 90% of all relationships that end up in divorce due to infidelity have at least one factor of communication failure. While it may be hard to believe that a lack of sex is one of the top causes for a failed marriage, it is the number one reason why relationships fail.
Just picture this, two lovers, who were married for 10 years to start having sexual encounters only after they had been together for three. A married couple is meant to be together and make love, not lust after each other.
There should be an emotional connection and deep respect for each other if the marriage was to last. If there is no respect then there will be no love and this will cause misery to both partners. Lack of communication can lead to major arguments and this in turn can lead to depression in your marriage.
When you think of depression, what do you think?
Do you think of ugly people with depressing personalities? Do you think of being alone and miserable? I know what I think and these are the thoughts that run down my spine every time I think about my unhappy marriage.
The good news is that there are solutions to these problems and save your marriage can be done if you are willing to work on it. Knowing what the causes of emotional depression in marriages is the first step to fixing them.
We all get unhappy from time to time, it is part of life
If you don’t want your marriage to end it, you need to find out what it is that is causing it and deal with it. There are many reasons why a person becomes depressed and you may be looking at it because you fit into the profile of someone who has trouble with their emotions.
You have probably been ignored by your spouse at times and now you feel like you are unloved. Your partner may not be talking to you as much or holding conversations with you as they did when you were happy. You don’t seem to be a priority anymore and your spouse may be withdrawing emotionally from you because he feels like you are no longer a big deal.
If you are feeling these things now then you are in a state of high stress or extremely low esteem and this causes emotional distress. If left untreated this will only get worse and you may be depressed all your life until you find a way to deal with your stress.
The best advice you can get is to figure out what is causing your unhappiness in your marriage
Once you have figured out what it is you need to do something about it. Some things that are very common causes for emotional problems are
- Not communicating enough
- Having problems with your significant other or children
- Not having good time management skills
- Not being able to set boundaries
- Not having respect for yourself
- Not having respect for others
- Not treating yourself as an important person
If you are having any of these problems then you are certainly suffering from emotional distress. It is OK to admit that you need help with any of these issues as long as you are willing to do what it takes to make your marriage better.
Once you have made sure that all of the issues that I mentioned are not causing your marriage to be miserable than you can move on and figure out what caused you to be depressed in the first place. If it was something like the death of a loved one or some major life change such as a job loss or a parent getting cancer you are in a better situation than most.
You will be more likely to be able to take care of your marriage and have a chance to get back the love of your life that you had before. Emotional problems in marriages are a huge problem that does not have to last forever and there is always a chance for fixing them.
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